things gay people have (and haven’t) taken from us
Note to reader: put away your flaming pitch forks and just hear me out for a minute, okay?
Things gay people have taken and made their own without asking everyone else’s permission first:
1. The phrase “coming out of the closet”. From all that I can gather, this goes back to the metaphor of having ‘skeletons in the closet’ meaning any kind of secret that you don’t want to be made public. So coming out of the closet is opening up to people and being honest about who you are. It first came into common use in the 60’s when men were formally presented at gay debutante balls. Now, so many years later, “coming out of the closet” only means coming out as gay and can’t be used in any other context without confusing an issue. That’s not so bad, I think we can live with that one and find other metaphors to use in non-homosexual references.
2. The word “gay”. Remember when “gay” meant jolly/happy/joyful/fun? No? Neither do I. Because it was so damn long ago. Gay has been used to refer to homosexuals since at least the 1920’s, perhaps longer. So now if you happen to be describing, say room decor that is bright and showy, and you say “this room is so gay” people automatically think you’re being a bigot/asshole/jerk.
Image source: Internet
3. Rainbows. The gay pride flag made its first appearance at a Gay and Lesbian Freedom Parade in San Francisco in 1978. Now I’m all for the idea behind it as a symbol of diversity, but also unity. But the rainbow?! It is a really magical occurrence in real life and it is a wonderfully bright and vibrant symbol or aesthetic to be used in so many ways. So… *whiny voice* why did gay people have to make it theirs? I don’t care if people get mad at me. I want the rainbow back. I really do.
And now! Things gay people have not taken away from us:
The Sanctity of Marriage I am sick of hearing about how the legalization of gay marriage will ruin “the sanctity of marriage”. Really?! It can’t possibly. We all know the divorce rate in the U.S. is somewhere around 50% these days. 50%!! And keep in mind, sanctity is “the quality or state of becoming holy, sacred, or saintly” so it really has nothing whatever to do with a legal policy regarding marriage. The legalization issue has nothing whatever to do with religion or any type of church. We are talking about the state and federal governments affording committed gay couples the same protections and freedoms given to any other married couple. An argument against it on the basis of “sanctity” is complete and utter bullshit. If any two adults want to make a commitment of marriage to each other, they ought to be given equal rights by law to do so. No one told me who to love or who to marry and I don’t see any rational reason why anyone else should be told who to love or who to marry.
Thanks for reading my thoughts, I’ll get off my soapbox now. Feel free to honk about this issue in the comments section below.
148 comments on “things gay people have (and haven’t) taken from us”
Honk at me:
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The Honking Goose 
Ma’am, you have a very good blog and I enjoy the person you are inside, please keep on just being yourself.
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Thank you very much. And thanks for taking a peek around the Honking Goose blog. 😀
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I definitely agree with all these points. About the word ‘gay’, it’s a little bit like the word ‘random’ now, as in “That guy was so random,” which could mean that guy was so weird/crazy/popped out of nowhere.
If anyone argues about the sanctity of marriage being ruined by gay people, I will clearly point them over to Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears. I mean if calling off a marriage in 3 or 7 days isn’t ruining the sanctity of marriage, then what is? This is just a hunch, but I don’t think the gay divorcement rate will be nearly as high as 50%, which is just like flipping a coin.
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Yeah, that sanctity of marriage argument just doesn’t fly.
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I agree entirely with your post. As a wordsmith, I like having all the words at my disposal. ALL OF THEM. I want ‘gay’ back 😦 although technically, I don’t know if I can say ‘back’ since I definitely wasn’t alive before it was used for a homosexual male – I remember in gradeschool watching a -real- old movie in class and a narrator or something said something like “they were all happy and gay” and the entire class started giggling.
“Gay apparel” will now conjure not some bright-colored sundress but instead whatever people assume gay dudes wear. Sigh.
As for the sanctity of marriage – so long as it’s a legal definition and not, say, a religious one, I agree. But then even religious folk do more damage to the sanctity of marriage than our homosexual friends. At least, if for no other reason than because it’s been so hard for them to marry, gay friends seem generally to take their marriage vows very seriously.
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Thanks for checking out the Honking Goose and reading this. 😀
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^_^ Thanks for your follow.
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I’ve been sitting here for at least five minutes trying to think of some way to cheer you up, but I think you are just out of luck on the rainbow thing. I’m sorry because I, like yourself, would really like to have it back, but it just isn’t going to happen, and I can’t even think of a suitable substitute. Maybe we can talk them into sharing it. They can have it on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, while we get it Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Then on Sundays we let the Lord have it because by then the poor thing will need a rest. What do you think?
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Actually, I’m thinking they can have the straight (hmm, punny) rainbow and everyone can use the arched rainbow. That is the difference. What do you think?
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I’m in. The arched one is ours. Thanks.
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I just watched an awesome TED Talk about a woman who believes (rightfully, in my opinion) that everyone has something to “come out” about whether it be telling a loved one that you cheated on them or you have a brain tumor, telling someone you love country music, or telling someone that you love them. All of these things are hard to admit and, like telling someone that you’re gay, these are all hard conversations to have.
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That rocks and I think it is very true. I know there are things I would happily share about if I knew it would be received positively (the way I see it) and not negatively (the way I’m afraid other people will see it). I’m not thinking of anything specific at the moment, just generalizing.
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