The Honking Goose

something to honk about

I know I said Halloween is evil, but I lied, it is a BLESSING

If you know the Honking Goose at all, you know I change my opinions and disagree with myself as often as I change the weather. Wait, you didn’t know I change the weather? Well, you need to get to know me better. Read on, my friend…

Yesterday I wrote I know I said Halloween is great, but I lied, it is EVIL. Which was, of course, in response to my own post about how altruistic Halloween is. Well, today I have changed my mind. Again. Halloween is truly a Blessing.

That’s because I finally have something to hold over my kids heads as retribution for their misbehavior. Rather than threatening them with time outs or less computer/video game time, I merely mention that I will take their candy and throw it away and suddenly they fall in line and behave themselves.

rear end of a garbage truck driving away down a road surrounded by grassy slopes

Once it goes in there, it is gone for good. Same thing with my belly.

Of course, my 8yo will still argue that I wouldn’t do that. He knows me very well: I never allow food to be wasted. “Candy isn’t food,” I answer, “Candy is bad for you. Food is good for you.” Don’t push your luck kid, I will throw it in the garbage. These are not idle threats.

Technically, I haven’t thrown away any of my kids’ candy YET. Yet being the operative word here. I probably will at some point. For now, I am just eating it myself while they are asleep/at school. What?! They don’t know the difference. If they bother to count, there will be less candy in an amount greater than if only they had been eating it. Which means they need to behave and do as I say, or they will lose even more. End of story.

At least, until I change my mind tomorrow.

Do you change your mind like the weather? I think it is a sign of growth and humility when we recognize our own faults and frailties and choose to make amends. Or, at least, makes jokes about it at our own expense.

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19 comments on “I know I said Halloween is evil, but I lied, it is a BLESSING

  1. Grumpa Joe
    November 8, 2014

    Mother Nature played a trick on the Trick or Treaters in my town. The temperature dropped to 34 and the wind picked up to 34. The usual crowd of 200 costumed kids who don’t know why they are at my door dropped to 20. (I have to make them say the words Trick or Treat, and they give me a dumb look if I ask them what kind of trick wiill they play if I don’t treat them).

    Like

    • thehonkinggoose
      November 8, 2014

      That is a good thing. The kids who have a laundry list of tricks to play if they don’t get a treat are the ones to watch out for.

      Like

  2. Allie
    November 7, 2014

    I never change my mind, or do I? Perhaps I am one big contradiction. Ha ha, that is how I was for a long time. These days I have grown and whilst I still have options I change my mind much less, at least I think I do. In all seriousness, I change with growth and what I learn about myself and from others. I guess for me I try to keep my mind open to change. Yes that is it, I am open to change. Phew I got there. xx

    Like

    • thehonkinggoose
      November 8, 2014

      Change is one of the few things we can really be sure of in life. 🙂

      Like

  3. linnetmoss
    November 7, 2014

    LOL at you making these idle threats and then scarfing the candy yourself! My mom never would have gotten away with it. I knew exactly what candy I had, down to the last piece!

    Like

    • thehonkinggoose
      November 7, 2014

      My kids ended Halloween with over a hundred pieces each – far too much for any sane parent to allow their kid to eat on their own.

      Like

      • linnetmoss
        November 7, 2014

        LOL. Mustn’t let the kiddies fall prey to tooth decay and high blood sugar… very dangerous…

        Like

  4. Sandi
    November 6, 2014

    I do change my mind — about small things, anyway. But woe to me when I let my kids see that I am flexible.

    Like

  5. lovessiamese
    November 6, 2014

    What a cool post! I don’t change my mind much, mostly because I can’t find it. Lol. But I often misquote myself and change what I said. Is that the same thing?

    Like

    • thehonkinggoose
      November 6, 2014

      Well, the difference is whether or not you know at the time that your statement is inaccurate. If you do know, that is a creative liberty. If you don’t, but realize it later, that is changing your mind. I do both. Frequently. 😀

      Like

  6. mitchteemley
    November 6, 2014

    OK, how could I not post a link to my article “Is Halloween Evil?” ;>) http://mitchteemley.com/2014/10/21/is-halloween-evil/

    Like

  7. NotAPunkRocker
    November 6, 2014

    I can’t read the word “blessing” without thinking of the “Christmas Vacation” movie.

    My kid would forget he had candy after the first night and never touch it again. I know he didn’t inherit that lack of sweet-awareness from me!

    Like

    • thehonkinggoose
      November 6, 2014

      That’s awesome, about your kid. I’m not sure if I’ve seen ‘Christmas Vacation’ – I live under a rock you know.

      Like

  8. Very Bangled
    November 6, 2014

    I always noticed my lessoned candy supply. My parents told me the candy evaporated, but I know the truth now!

    Like

    • thehonkinggoose
      November 6, 2014

      You had loving parents who selflessly consumed some of that evil, unhealthy candy to save you from becoming sick with it. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. mjmsprt40
    November 6, 2014

    If I could change the weather, there would be no such thing as “Lake effect snow” in Northwest Indiana and Lower Michigan. If you’ve ever had to drive through that, you know why I’d ban it.

    Changing your mind a lot– some people do that. Others, once their mind is made up it sets like concrete and it would take a jack-hammer to make a change. Nobody knows why.

    Like

    • Norm Houseman
      November 6, 2014

      I loved the snow off of Lake Michigan. It was beautiful and brought with it a touch of danger. It also occasionally brought a school free weekday. I would never ban lake effect snow!

      Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on November 6, 2014 by in Unsolicited Advice and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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