I talk to myself

Out loud (but quietly, of course). All the time. I talk to myself when I’m cooking in the kitchen or doing the laundry. I talk to myself when I’m at work, or driving in the car, or even shopping in a store.

I should probably not talk to myself when I’m alone in public, but I do it so much that I don’t even notice I’m doing it, so it’s kind of difficult to stop.

Once when I was six years old, I was out with my family. We were going for a walk on a nice trail in a park with our dog. I was telling myself a make-believe story, quietly of course. I was perfectly happy, engaged in my imaginary world, as we walked along. And my mom told me to stop talking out loud to myself, “People will think you are retarded,” she said.

Ouch, that really stung. I felt chastised. And I remember distinctly feeling like it was an unreasonable and completely unnecessary request. Who cares? I thought. I was quite the rebellious child, even at six years old. I did stop talking to myself around my mother, though.

But clearly, I didn’t stop altogether.

I believe it helps my thought process. And it helps me remember to do things when I tell myself out loud. Like if I’m trying to remember to get a list of things from the grocery store without writing them down, I’ll repeat them to myself a couple of times. Then, I’ll be walking down the aisles at the store muttering to myself again to recall them all.

Obviously, I don’t care what people think. If they even notice. Most people are minding their own business too much to notice, I’m sure. And I’m pretty certain no one has ever made the mistake of assuming that I’m retarded.

I talk to myself when I’m driving, especially if I’m trying to get somewhere and I don’t exactly know the way. Or I’ll talk to myself about the other drivers. Like, “oh, hello! I didn’t see that guy coming.” When my kids are in car, I’m sure they assume I’m talking to them. But I’m not. I say the same things whether they are there or not and it doesn’t matter if anyone is listening.

I talk to myself at work. I probably shouldn’t. But really, it’s a big store and I’m very quiet. I don’t think anyone has noticed. I’ll say things like, “this needs to go over here, oh – that’s in the wrong spot, I’ll go put that away.”

I’m not an amazing conversationalist with myself. It’s all very boring, day-to-day stuff. I could keep it all in my head, but I don’t. I enjoy talking to myself. Maybe it’s because I’m such an introvert. I don’t know.

So, yeah, I talk to myself. Now you know.

Do you talk to yourself, too?