I cried myself to sleep last night

It started with the Gander and I watching season 7, episode 1 of TWD. That’s text-speak for The Walking Dead for any of you fortunate enough to still live under a rock in this day and age. Don’t worry, no spoilers! (Unless you haven’t seen season 6 yet, in which case, what are you doing with your life?) At the end of season 6 we leave the crew on their knees in front of Neegan who promises to kill one of them to prove they are all his bitch now. So now I know who dies and I balled big Goosey tears like a little kid who’s pet just died.

Then after that sad emotional release, we briefly talked about the pipeline protest happening in North Dakota right now. There is a media blackout where the concerns of First Nations and environment protectors are concerned, so if you haven’t heard, it’s understandable. Basically, some piece-of-shit corporation backed by scum-sucking politicians like Obama and Clinton, is building an oil pipeline to bring oil from fracking operations in Canada south through the United States to refineries somewhere, probably in Texas, I guess[correction Illinois]. They’ve already destroyed sacred burial grounds (but those sacred burial grounds weren’t a cemetery for US military veterans so it wasn’t on mainstream news). Now they want to get through the protester’s blockade and put their pipeline under the Missouri River where it has the potential to poison the drinking water source for millions of people. Shit went down yesterday when the pipeline construction reached the road blockade/camp and police moved in with heavily militarized action against the water protectors. Pretty depressing stuff.

And I cried some more.



Then the Gander, he was still awake and sitting on the couch in the living room at this point, and I was lying in bed with the lights out, but the door to our bedroom was open and we were still talking. So then the Gander brings up the power struggles that have been erupting lately between us and our son who just turned 12 and talks back and contradicts every factual statement we make that disagrees with his view of himself. To which I replied, “I can’t right now, I just can’t.”

And I cried some more. Then I fell asleep.

I woke up this morning, the sun rose, I drank tea, I drove my wonderful, smart, kind children to school, dropped them off and told them to have a great day. I’m okay. I hope you are, too. Life can be so challenging sometimes. So many different kinds of challenges and one is not more valid than the other. So I hope you are okay this morning, too.

I’m usually a pretty optimistic person. For instance, if enough people died from drinking poisoned water, then there would be fewer people who would need access to clean drinking water, amiright? But sometimes it all hits too close to home and its hard to see the silver lining. And I have a heart. So no matter how I try to look on the bright side, my heart still hurts for those that suffer. My heart hurts for as all because the world isn’t perfect and we can only try to be good because we aren’t perfect either.