something to honk about
I followed a few more blogs today. I like to expand my horizons, explore, reach out and connect with peeps. But I have to admit, there is something a little weird and creepy about following a young woman.
What it does is, it reminds me too much of myself at that age. How naive and brave and passionate and sweet I was as a young thing. So when I start to read a post written by a young woman on her blog, I get this little jello-wiggle down in my tummy. And it sends a message back along neural pathways to my brain. The message arrives and it says “this is so wrong.” Like if I was standing outside her bedroom window at night looking in to the soft glow of her lamplight illuminating her lithe figure as she bends over her keyboard typing.
“This is so wrong.” I can’t help but think. I haven’t avoided those blogs entirely either, it makes me hesitate, but not stop. After all, I am not lurking with bad intentions. My only intention in following any blog that is new to me is to support, encourage, and bear witness to another’s journey. So why would I even question it? It is just a gut feeling, that’s all.
And maybe it is not entirely gender-specific. Perhaps I feel the same way about reading a young man’s blog. I think there is just far fewer of those, so I haven’t noticed as much. Plus I’m not a guy, so I don’t relate as immediately. But I do have sons, so those young men’s blogs will naturally remind me of my children.
Does anyone else feel this way about following certain people?
11/06/2016 Correction: Initially this post was titled “following a young woman makes me feel like a voyeur”. I was unaware that the word voyeur has such an explicitly sexual definition. That was not my intention. What I mean is something like that, but without the sexual connotation. I have not been able to (yet) find exactly the right word for what I am trying to communicate.