The Honking Goose

something to honk about

more thoughts on hair, AKA please don’t read this it’s gross

If hair on our head is governed by a growth cycle largely determined by genetics, then it stands to reason that hair elsewhere on our bodies is as well. Which may mean that if I make every effort to grow longer, healthier hair on my head, those efforts could also result in longer, healthier – leg hair. Or armpit hair.

Right? As it stands, genetics has gifted me with very light, minimal body hair. One of the things about my body I am quite happy with, thanks.

dreadlock hair tendril forms a question mark above my head

my hair when I had dreadlocks

I wonder what the world record for longest armpit hair is? Or longest pubic hair? My father-in-law has an eyebrow hair that is at least five inches long. That may not be a world record. But I’m sure it is at least a town record. I’ve seen the hair, it is pretty impressive. Someone ought to measure it before it sheds. But not me. Eww, gross.

I like head hair, but other hair is kind of gross, isn’t it? Even head hair, as soon as it falls out and, gets caught in a drain say, becomes immediately gross. Fingernails are the same. If someone didn’t have fingernails on their hands THE ABSENCE would be gross. So fingernails in a way, prevent fingers from being gross. But as soon as you clip fingernails, those trimmings immediately become gross. Weird.

Wait? Did you actually read this? I told you not to! What were you thinking?


21 comments on “more thoughts on hair, AKA please don’t read this it’s gross

  1. michelle213norton
    November 19, 2016

    I can always identify my hair as it is long and red. On the (thankfully) rare occasion that it turns up in my food, i have had others make the comment that at least it was my own. Why would that make it any better? My hair is as dirty and gross as anyone else’s (maybe more so as long as it is!!!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • thehonkinggoose
      November 19, 2016

      Oh, I love red hair (well not in my food obviously). Surprisingly I have a son with coppery reddish hair, it’s quite beautiful. Being a “morena” myself as they say in Mexico (I think they do, I haven’t been) I never would have imagined I’d birth a redhead.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. exoticnita54
    November 11, 2016

    Lol 😂..
    hairy .. hairy.. situation indeed

    Liked by 1 person

  3. NuWaver374
    November 10, 2016

    Lol, very funny post. Hairy situation.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. L.S. Engler
    November 10, 2016

    The idea of an absence of fingernails is one of the truly visceral things that make me retch in this world. I regret not heeding your warning….

    Although, what about eyelashes? That’s hair, isn’t it? I had a boyfriend accidentally burn off my eyelashes on one eye once (it was mostly an accident, I think?). I mostly just wanted to share that story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thehonkinggoose
      November 11, 2016

      Oh yeah – eyelashes! Well, if I could grow longer eyelashes that might make it worth it. Something to consider.

      When I read first your comment (last night at work,don’t tell) I thought you said he burned off his own eyelashes – how did he burn off yours?! That’s dangerous! I’ve burned off some of my eyebrow hair accidentally. Smoking roaches or something, I can’t quite recall for some reason.


  5. Elyse
    November 10, 2016

    I didn’t mean to read it all, but as my head-hair is falling out, I was expecting you to have a solution. Curses! Now I will go measure eyebrow hair.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. TheOriginalPhoenix
    November 10, 2016

    This is hilarious 😂 and you can’t expect people to not read when you say not to. Tell them TO read it and you’ll see what happens 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Grumpa Joe
    November 10, 2016

    This is grossly funny. A very good question for bar side philosophers to ponder.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. exoticnita54
    November 10, 2016

    Hahahaha… 😂
    I had to find out what’s so gross.. and what hair you were talking about..

    Very strange observation

    Liked by 1 person

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This entry was posted on November 10, 2016 by in Nerd Corner and tagged , , , , , , , , , .
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