The Strangers We Live With: Maybe Birth Control, Food & Aging Dooms Our Relationships
I didn’t know that about birth control pills and smell. I am, however, very averse to any hormonal medical treatment though. I stopped taking birth control pills in my 20’s after only two years because of my concerns about the effects of hormones. And again, I had to firmly turn down hormone treatment when I was pregnant with our younger son. My doctor recommended it based on my history of preterm labor. I think most people would follow their doctors guidance because they are in a position of authority and superior knowledge. But hormones would have without a doubt had an unknown effect on the fetus developing inside me. I can’t believe a doctor with all their education and authority would be so cavalier about giving hormones to pregnant women. But there it is and only because I always question authority and have no problem breaking rules did I have the strength to firmly refuse and stick up for myself and my unborn child.
Sinkholes open without warning, sometimes destroying things and killing people. I think body chemistry might work that way, too. (Image/CNN)
Even the most-honest people lie sometimes.
When we love or even just like someone, the last thing we want to tell them is that we don’t like their new haircut, or that the meal they just prepared for us tastes gross, or that their ass totally looks fat in those jeans.
Maybe that’s not a “lie.” When you’re trying to protect someone’s feelings. Or maybe it is, but it’s not bad due to its noble intentions.
Or maybe a lie is a lie, and it’s ultimately bad no matter how well-intentioned it is because dishonesty is NEVER better than honesty. I don’t think we’ll ever know because humans are never going to collectively start telling the whole truth.
…
So, maybe we’ll never really know why attraction went away and…
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7 comments on “The Strangers We Live With: Maybe Birth Control, Food & Aging Dooms Our Relationships”
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The Honking Goose 
I don’t quite agree with the whole premise of Matt’s post, but I do know that hormonal birth control has some unpleasant side effects, strokes and cancers for example. It also can give certain segments of the population very adverse reactions. I wound up in the hospital twice in my 20’s before I realized what the problem was. Very frustrating because the medical narrative insists that all birth control is perfectly safe. This was some 30 years ago,but consider the fact that just in my lifetime, four kinds of birth control I know of have been recalled and banned. You don’t take something off the market if it’s perfectly safe.
Especially frustrating in my state, girls as young as 13 can get shots without their parent’s knowledge or consent. So if the kid starts displaying erratic behavior, hemorrhaging, or having seizures, no one knows what the heck is going on. I’ve seen it, but due to political correctness and cultural narratives, no one is allowed to say BC can have adverse side effects.
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Insanitybytes22 I disagree with your assertion that no one is allowed to say BC can have adverse side effects. I’ve had to sign all kinds of waivers and acknowledge receipt of educational literature about potential side effects of it for my entire adult life. State law. Every time I have a recheck (annually and sometimes more frequently depending upon current health status), I have to sign the same paperwork over again. And: some side effects are misstated as causing cancer; some types of birth control have the effect of seeming to protect against certain types of cancer. Not all side effects are negative. Being assured that it is virtually impossible to become pregnant when to become pregnant would endanger one’s life is a very, very positive side effect.
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I know what you mean. I wish there was more of a spirit of questioning among the medical community. It seems doctors/nurses etc. are too quick to prescribe things developed by the for-profit pharmaceutical industry. I’m not really sure if it is fair to let that responsibility fall to the doctors themselves, although that is their job, in many ways. It’s complicated because patients have the right to sue their doctors for malpractice. Somewhere there needs to be stricter testing standards for the pharmaceutical industry though. For instance, doctors freely prescribing opiates has caused an enormous increase in heroine addiction in our society in recent years; a serious problem that ruins peoples lives and in some cases causes unnecessary deaths.
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Sorry, not buying it. Many women begin taking hormonal birth control long before they begin having relationships that are long-term and/or marriage-bound. And hormonal changes occur in ALL humans as we age. Women who never become pregnant and bever use hormonal birth control still experience hormonal shifts. It’s BIOLOGY. This was true long before hormonal medications existed. With or without extra hormones being introduced, our life experiences and preferences, values, and priorities are subject to change because we LEARN from experience and we change accordingly. Blaming hormones is a cop out, and blaming birth control puts the blame squarely on women while dismissing the fact that BOTH partners, male or female, gay or straight or otherwise, have work to do if a relationship is to last. How many of us at 40 would really want to be with the person we found attractive when we were 15? A few, perhaps. But, how many of your platonic FRIENDS at 40 are the same people you hung out with at 15? Be honest. Our needs change. And a lot of people don’t take into account that they have changed as much or more as their friends or partners or siblings, in mental/emotional ways as well as the physical. This is why it is often ill-advised to marry quickly, or while still very young. Odds are, you endow that person with qualities which may or may not be real, or lasting, if you haven’t made a concerted effort to get to know each other and if you haven’t been through some serious challenges together. Many people also don’t truly see their partner as an equal. And without equality, you are very likely to end up grossly disappointed when you discover the other person is, indeed, fully and unabashedly, human.
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“Sorry, not buying it.”
That’s okay, I’m not trying to sell you on anything. I don’t think the author of the original blog post is, either. I thought it read very much like a working theory in progress and did a fine job of acknowledging that hormones are just one factor in the way people change as they age.
When I was young and taking birth control pills, I read one interesting theory. That is: historically women spent a greater percentage of their lives pregnant. And because the hormonal birth control pill tells the body, through hormones, that it is already pregnant, that would mimic, hormonally, more closely the experience of spending a greater percentage of life pregnant. It might then be more natural and perhaps healthier. All pretty speculative, but interesting.
“Blaming hormones is a cop out”
I’m not suggesting we blame hormones. I would suggest we take hormones into account, though. There is much that science and medicine have not yet explained and it’s pretty fascinating to explore these topics. My experience has been that doctors are quick to prescribe hormone therapies, and possibly not taking into account all the side-effects that can occur from taking hormones. I’m very cautious about what I put into my body when it comes to food, environmental toxins, medicines. As the author touched on briefly, there is hormones and hormone mimics in our food and our environment and those things affect the total of the population, men, women, and children.
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I don’t lie. I just don’t say anything or I spin the truth in a way that is technically true but spares me from blame. 😉
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As far as truth vs. lies go, I would say often people don’t want to hear the truth. And telling the truth can be unkind, as can lying. Lots of grey areas. 😉
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